


Pride and Prejudice and Coronavirus

by JaneSpeedwell



Category: Pride and Prejudice & Related Fandoms, Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
Genre: Coronavirus, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:59:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23311261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaneSpeedwell/pseuds/JaneSpeedwell
Summary: It is the autumn of 1812. The UK is going into lockdown. Panic not seen since the Battle of Trafalgar is sweeping the country. But this time, the enemy is not Napoleon. The enemy is unseen, deadly, and swift. It is COVID-19.Meanwhile, in a quiet corner of Hertfordshire, coronavirus wreaks havoc with people's lives. Will the Bennet family come together in the face of disaster, or will sanctimonious Mr Collins and scheming Mr Wickham tear them apart? Will Jane Bennet and Mr Bingley's love stand the test of life-threatening illness and a country house lockdown with Caroline Bingley?And most importantly, how will Mr Darcy and Elizabeth overcome their pride and prejudice in the face of strict social distancing and terrifying coronavirus conspiracy theories?
Relationships: Elizabeth Bennet/Fitzwilliam Darcy, Jane Bennet/Charles Bingley
Comments: 7
Kudos: 25





	1. A country in want of a social distancing strategy

"My dear Mrs Bennet", said Mr Bennet to his spouse at breakfast one day, peering over the top of his newspaper. "Have you heard the news about the coronavirus?"

"Coronavirus?" said Mrs Bennet, suspecting one of her husband's frequent tricks. "What, pray, is the coronavirus?"

Mr Bennet was about to answer, but was cut off by Mary, who felt herself in her element.

"I believe that 'corona' is the Latin for 'crown'. If, however, we were to follow Mr Adams' alternative system of Latin translation, 'corona' would likely translate as 'ale', although that is not so satisfactory".

Mr Bennet's lips twitched but he said nothing. Mrs Bennet was less circumspect. "Ale!" she cried. "What has ale to do with anything? And who is this Mr Adams, to say such things about the quality of our ale, which I do believe is the best in the country?"

"No, mama", insisted Mary, "you fail to comprehend-"

"Oh, hold your tongue!' cried Lydia. 'No one wants to hear about all that tiresome Latin".

"Papa", put in Jane hurriedly. "Would you be so good as to explain to us what this coronavirus is?"

"Very well; I suppose we shall have no peace until I do. Well, my dears, the coronavirus is a great new plague that is recently come from the East. It appears to have originated either in China or the East Indies."

'What has that to do with any of us?" complained Kitty. "China must be hundreds upon hundreds of miles away".

"Lord knows I don't care what goes on in those heathen countries", added Lydia with a toss of her head. "Kitty, let us go to Meryton. I heard that Mrs Burford's shop has got in the prettiest imaginable kid gloves, and of course I must buy a pair before Maria Lucas does." At this she rose to leave, but Mr Bennet forestalled her. "Sit down! The pair of you are going nowhere". So unwonted was this paternal interference that Kitty and Lydia did not protest.

"It seems I have not sufficiently explained the gravity of the situation to you", said Mr Bennet. "This new plague has already reached the shores of Britain, and is even now ravaging London. I collect that in France, there have been many thousands of deaths and the government is close to collapse."

"And so we see God's just punishment on those who foment Revolution and practice Anarchy and Heathenism".

"As to your comments, Kitty", continued Mr Bennet as if Mary had never interrupted, "this has a great deal to do with us, as we are not so far from London, and the coronavirus has been spreading at an alarming rate among the populace".

Elizabeth was thoughtful. "How is the coronavirus spread?"

"The Times says that it is spread by toxic vapours, which are inhaled and cause an imbalance of the humours. I believe it has something to do with the overproduction of phlegm".

"But how may we protect ourselves?' demanded Mrs Bennet. "I am very delicate, as you know, and I am sure such a terrible disease would overcome my nerves entirely".

"My dear, I have the highest respect for your nerves", said Mr Bennet drily, "but as it happens, you need not be overly concerned. It is I who am most at risk in this family. The coronavirus appears to endanger older people most."

"Old?" cried Elizabeth. "But you cannot be more than fifty, Papa. That is not old".

"Fifty is practically ancient", said Lydia contemptuously.

"Lydia, your notion of age is as faulty as the rest of your opinions. I am hardly in my dotage", said Mr Bennet. "And yet those aged fifty and over are undoubtedly at greater risk. There is a good chance that the coronavirus may yet cause me to shuffle off this mortal coil".

"I shall not allow you to die and leave us to the mercies of your odious cousin Collins!" cried Mrs Bennet. "I forbid it!"

"My dear, I fear that is hardly within your power to dictate. If you wish it, however, I shall write to Lord Liverpool and tell him of your fears".

"For shame!" cried Mrs Bennet. "You may think this is all a great joke, but I shall not find it so amusing when the girls and I are begging on the streets because Mr Collins has thrown us out of our own home! And what good is Lord Liverpool, pray? He is not a medical man!"

"That is precisely what I wished to talk to you about. I have read this morning that Lord Liverpool gave an address to the Commons in which he outlined the novel measures that the government has introduced in order to slow the spread of this fatal disease".

"What sort of measures?" asked Jane.

"Any person who displays signs of the coronavirus - by-the-by, a persistent cough and a fever - is to be bled thrice daily in order to purge the body. They must take ten ounces of calomel every morning in order to restore the balance of the humours. They may, moreover, not come within six feet of any other person".

"Urgh!" exclaimed Lydia. "How horrid! I declare I should rather die".

"And then the world would have one less silly person in it. But, alas, we must obey the edicts of our government". Mr Bennet's gaze moved to his wife and turned serious. "I am afraid there is more, as several of the government's measures apply to the healthy among us. Firstly, anyone over fifty years of age is to stay inside their homes due to the greater risk that the coronavirus poses to them. The Times refers to this as "self-isolation". Secondly, while outside the home, persons must not come within six feet of any other person. I believe this is known as "social distancing".

At this there was a great outcry and much stamping of feet.

"What is to happen to the Meryton Assembly?"

"Are we not to dance at all?"

"We must use this time as a chance to reflect on our sins and failings."

"How can the government be so unfeeling!"

"I promised Thomas Wright my first two dances! What will he think of me if I cannot dance with him?"

"I should be most pleased to recommend to you all a course of serious, moral reading that will improve the mind".

"I was to wear my sprigged muslin to the Assembly!"

"That is my sprigged muslin, Lydia, and you know it!"

"Lydia, stop teasing your sister."

"I will stop when she does!"

"What nonsense! Why should the healthy suffer as well as the sick?"

Mr Bennet replied to this last comment, his voice rising above the din.

"Because, Mrs Bennet, it is otherwise all but certain that hundreds of thousands - perhaps even millions - of Englishmen and women will die. If the healthy do not practice social distancing while outside the home, then they will bring toxic vapours back into the house and so infect their older and infirm relatives. As I recall, several minutes ago you were less than enthralled with the prospect of my death, so I strongly suggest that you abide by these measures if you do not wish to kill me and ease the path for Mr Collins."

This last, dreadful, point evidently struck Mrs Bennet so forcibly that she did not say another word all through breakfast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Robert Jenkinson, 2nd Earl of Liverpool, was Prime Minister of the United Kingdom from June 1812 to April 1827.


	2. The Assembly at Meryton

There was much rejoicing at Longbourn when it was found that the Meryton Assembly was to go ahead after all.

"For to be sure", said Mrs Bennet to her daughters, "nothing could be so good for one's health as an evening of dancing. What a shame that your father is unable to attend!"

"A great shame!", cried Mr Bennet. "Indeed, I do not know how I shall survive the loss of the ball".

"Oh, pay your father no mind! Lady Lucas says that the new tenant of Netherfield Park is to be in attendance together with a small party of friends from London, and you know he is reputed to be very rich, vastly handsome, and a single young man besides. What a chance for you all! I shall be very put out if you are not in your best looks at the ball".

"But what am I to do about my complexion?" wailed Kitty. "You know it is very bad just now".

"That will hardly matter", reassured Mrs Bennet, "since we are all to stand six feet away from one another. No-one will notice the imperfections".

"All the same", put in Lydia rather maliciously, "I should not count on Kitty capturing Mr Bingley's attention. Ten to one it is me, and I shall be married before the rest of you. How Maria Lucas would stare!"

****

A very strange sight awaited the Bennet ladies when they arrived at the Meryton Assembly Rooms. Instead of the usual crush to enter the building, ball-goers queued for entry at evenly spaced distances marked on the ground in chalk. Several urchins hung about pointing and laughing at the gentlefolk in their evening dress, until a florid-faced Mr Philips brandished his cane at them.

"Goodness!" cried Jane. "I had hardly expected to see social distancing measures put into place so soon".

"Still less obeyed by the good people of Meryton", smiled Elizabeth. "But nothing will come in the way of a ball here, and rightly so!"

Elizabeth judged the mood correctly; the excitement in the rooms was palpable. For all that the dances were re-arranged so that dancers had to stand six feet apart and could not link hands or arms, a festival atmosphere hung over the gathering. 

The eagerly-awaited entrance of the Netherfield party did nothing to dampen the mood. Speculation flew around the ballroom, and it was soon established that Mr Bingley was the most charming man in the world ("quite the most charming!"), and Mr Darcy an arrogant misanthrope ("for all that he may be as rich as Croesus and as handsome as a poet"). Rumours of a different sort also spread among the ballgoers.

"Dear Lady Lucas, I heard the most dreadful thing yesterday! It seems the coronavirus actually came from Rome, and is part of a great Papist plot, and is spread by Jesuits; for only Protestants become ill, you know, and Parliament has passed a bill ordering all Papists to swear an oath of allegiance to the Crown, but the Duke of Norfolk has refused to swear the oath, and-"

"Well I heard that it came from France", cut in Lady Lucas, "and that the Jacobins deliberately spread it here in order to kill off our politicians and cause a revolution; which I daresay your Mr Bennet would approve of, as I have often heard him spreading wicked republican opinions."

"I assure you that that is not so, Lady Lucas; my husband must have been teasing, which is very vexing and Lord knows it quite destroys my poor nerves, but he is as staunch a Whig as ever lived".

"That may be, Mrs Bennet, but I am certain that the coronavirus comes from France; and you know it has always been my opinion that we ought to ban all speaking and teaching of French until the poor dolphin is restored to the throne. I suppose it is just as well that your girls never did learn it."

Darcy curled his lip in disdain as he listened to the inane conversation. He made to move away from the matrons, but Bingley came bounding into Darcy's view, flushed with excitement.

"Darcy! What are you doing skulking over here?"

"I am not _skulking_ ".

Bingley impatiently waved the objection aside.

"Why do you not dance? You cannot stand about like a marble statue for the rest of the evening".

"I most certainly can, and shall", replied Darcy. "I will not risk my health - or more importantly, the health of my loved ones - for the sake of a frivolous pursuit such as dancing."

"But you danced with my sisters!"

"We are currently members of the same household. It is my view that the social distancing measures ought to be much stricter in the context of public gatherings."

"How can you think of such things, when the young ladies here are uncommonly pretty?" 

Darcy followed Bingley's gaze. "I would be hard put to ascribe to any of these women the status of a proper young lady. I have ascertained already that ignorance and vulgarity is rampant among the townsfolk, and the women are the worst. There is not one whom it would it would not be a punishment for me to stand up with. _You_ are dancing with the only handsome woman in the room".

"I cannot allow that, Darcy; I find the people here immensely agreeable, and Miss Bennet is an angel! But look, there is her sister sitting over there. She is also pretty, and I daresay very agreeable. Let me ask if I may introduce you".

"You shall ask no such thing". 

A group of boisterous girls passed by the gentlemen at that moment, and Darcy had to raise his voice to be heard above them and the six feet separating him from Bingley.

"She is tolerable, I suppose, but not handsome enough to make me abandon what I consider prudent measures for my family's safety. Moreover, I am in no humour to give consequence to young ladies who are slighted by other men, and who would doubtless - like their mothers and aunts - prattle on about absurd coronavirus conspiracies. You had much better return to your partner, for you are wasting your time with me".

Mr Darcy was so caught up in his indignation at the society in which he found himself, that he failed to notice the young lady in question raise one eyebrow, almost as if she had heard his curt remarks.

"Very well", said Mr Bingley, "suit yourself! I have every intention of dancing the whole night long, but shall leave you to your misanthropic musings if you wish".

Darcy scowled at his friend's retreating back, but to his irritation, found himself watching Miss Bennet's sister more often than he thought strictly appropriate. More than once he thought he saw her glance at him with a critical eye, but dismissed it as a figment of his imagination, for what could she possibly find fault with in him?


	3. The Netherfield Houseparty

The next morning, a prettily-worded note of invitation arrived from Miss Bingley expressing a desire to have Jane join her and her sister for dinner that evening.

"There, you see!" cried Mrs Bennet. "You are become quite a favourite at Netherfield. Such an elegant invitation! Such obliging manners! Jane, dear, you must wear your best gown - the light blue silk will do very well, as it shows off your eyes to such advantage. Oh! you will be so beautiful that I am sure Mr Bingley will fall in love with you on the spot, or else I declare he has no heart at all".

"But the gentlemen are not to be there", replied Jane. "The note says they are out on a shooting-party".

"How very vexing!" exclaimed Mrs Bennet. "Nevertheless, you must make the most of the opportunity. If you become intimate with Mr Bingley's sisters, then they will surely invite you to Netherfield at times when he is present."

"May I take the carriage?"

"Certainly not! The carriage is required elsewhere. You shall take Nancy instead. What a delightful day it is for riding!"

"If you ask me, ma'am", said Mrs Hill who was just then passing by, "t'aint a delightful day at all. Why, it's bound to rain later, and hard at that".

"Nobody asked your opinion, Hill!" cried Mrs Bennet. "Jane will be a dutiful daughter and do as I say".

Hill was, however, proved right, as it rained heavily the whole day and well into the evening. Jane's sisters watched her ride off in trepidation, but Mrs Bennet could not be swayed. The next morning at breakfast, a note came from Jane to say that she was feeling unwell and quite unable to leave Netherfield for the time being.

"Jane writes that she has developed a persistent cough, and a fever", said Kitty.

"It sounds very much like the coronavirus", said Elizabeth in alarm. "I must go and see Jane immediately".

"Oh, nonsense!" cried Mrs Bennet. "I daresay it is only a cold. People do not die of trifling colds. Jane will receive the very best care at Netherfield. Besides, if it is the coronavirus then she will have to stay at Netherfield for at least a fortnight after she recovers, and only think what may happen if she and Mr Bingley are thrown together all that time! Elizabeth, you had much better not go to Netherfield, where I am sure you will only be in the way".

"Mama, how can you be so unfeeling?" cried Elizabeth. 

"It is you who are unfeeling, for you have no compassion for my poor nerves!"

"But I cannot bear to think of strangers caring for Jane".

"If Jane sets her cap at Mr Bingley and plays her cards right, he won't be a stranger for long!" giggled Lydia. 

"That is a singularly vulgar turn of phrase".

"Oh, do be quiet, Mary", cried Mrs Bennet. "Lydia is quite right. This is a great chance for our Jane. I will not have Elizabeth at Netherfield running on in the wild manner that she is suffered to do at home, and putting everyone out of countenance."

"I don't see how you could stand to spend two weeks in the same house as that horrid Mr Darcy, anyway", said Kitty. "You told us how rude he was at the assembly, and how much you disliked him".

"Indeed, I do heartily dislike him, but for Jane's sake I believe I could spend even a month under the same roof as Mr Darcy".

"Your mother is right, Elizabeth", put in Mr Bennet unexpectedly. "You cannot go".

"There!" cried Mrs Bennet in triumph. "You see, even your father agrees with me! I am sure you will heed _him_ , for all that you will not listen to me."

Mr Bennet ignored his wife's outburst and spoke directly to Elizabeth. "You know the government guidance as well as I. If Jane does have the coronavirus, then none of us may come near her for at least a week after the fever breaks. Your going to Netherfield now would only endanger you and others. If Mr Bingley is even half as amiable as your mother reports, then Jane will be well cared for. And if not, then your mother will have the comfort of knowing that Jane died on her orders in pursuit of a wealthy husband."

* * * *

Days went by, and it became clear that Jane was very ill indeed. Alarming reports of a high fever and delirium reached Longbourn, and for some time Jane was unable to write herself. Mrs Bennet's triumph at Jane's extended stay at Netherfield had long since evaporated, when almost ten days after Jane's first message, the Bennet family received another note in Jane's hand to say that her fever had broken and the doctor considered her to be on the path to recovery. She was to stay at Netherfield until she was strong enough to return home.

As soon as visits were permitted, Elizabeth walked to Netherfield almost every day in order to be with Jane. As the doctor had suggested that Jane spend as much time with the party as her strength could bear, she was much thrown together with Mr Bingley, and Elizabeth had the pleasure of seeing Mr Bingley's tenderness and regard towards her sister increase daily. A more solicitous host she could not have asked for, as he anxiously ensured that Jane lacked for no comforts. Jane herself could not but be affected by this kindness, and her increasing affection for Mr Bingley was the subject of many good-natured jests by Elizabeth. Over the course of her visits, Elizabeth was even able to look with more equanimity on Mr Darcy. While his manners still left much to be desired and she could not forget his slight at the Meryton Assembly, Mr Darcy regularly inquired after Jane's health with obvious sincerity, and she discovered in him an unexpectedly diverting - if often infuriating -conversational partner.

Elizabeth's fragile newfound goodwill towards Darcy was shattered, however, when she was visiting Jane one day toward the end of her stay at Netherfield. Jane's strength was increasing every hour, and she was to return to Longbourn several days hence. Elizabeth was therefore in excellent spirits when she walked down to the library to borrow a book for Jane, for, as she had confided to Jane earlier that day, "as much as I like your excellent Mr Bingley, I confess it wearies me to spend much time with his sisters and friend, and I would gladly have you at home with us again".

As she was about to enter the library, however, she heard voices issuing through the half-open door. Elizabeth started to turn back, having no wish to eavesdrop on the conversation of others, but paused when she heard Miss Bingley repeating Jane's name. Standing uncertainly rooted to the spot, Elizabeth soon ascertained that Miss Bingley was speaking to Mr Darcy in tones of hushed entreaty.

"You, with your superior power of perception, cannot but have missed the change that has come over Charles since Miss Bennet came to Netherfield. He moons over her like a lovesick schoolboy".

"I am aware that Bingley has shown a marked preference for Miss Bennet. I do not, however, consider it to be a serious attachment on his part. No doubt he will forget about Miss Bennet soon enough after she leaves".

"I am loathe to contradict you, sir, but I believe Charles is in grave danger from Miss Bennet!"

"I have known your brother to be in love with half a dozen women these past few years. You will recall how smitten he was with Miss Fairford last winter in Town, and Miss Charlton the previous spring. Before that, I collect he could talk of nothing but a certain Miss Gilbert he met by chance in Bath. His attachments are as fleeting as they are keen".

"It may in general be so, but with Miss Bennet I am afraid it is a different story. Charles has never before spoken of matrimony, yet he all but told me yesterday that he intends to make Miss Bennet an offer!"

"An offer of marriage? Impossible!" For the first time in the conversation, Mr Darcy seemed shaken out of his complacency.

"I am afraid it it so; and as Charles' dearest friend, I am persuaded that you could not wish for such a _mésalliance_ any more than I or Louisa".

"Certainly not. And yet, I was under the impression that you and your sister are fond of Miss Bennet".

"And so we are! Jane is a sweet girl, but for Charles to marry her is absolutely out of the question. Miss Bennet's lack of fortune and her undistinguished birth all make it quite impossible that I should ever wish to acknowledge her as a sister-in-law. I am convinced that you must feel the same".

"Indeed. Such a marriage would be most ill-advised, and I am very concerned that Bingley should think of taking such a step".

"It is simply that Miss Bennet has such unfortunate connexions! Why, she told Louisa and I without a blush that one of her uncles is in trade and lives in Cheapside, or Holborn, or some such place; and you know that her other uncle is an attorney in Meryton, a very ill-bred man with a vulgar wife. Oh! the thought of such relations cannot be borne".

Mr Darcy was silent, which Miss Bingley evidently took as indicating encouragement.

"And then there is the matter of Miss Bennet's lack of fortune. I confess that the prospect of Charles - who could marry an heiress if he wished - throwing himself away on a woman with no expectations, and forfeiting his chance to take a more prominent place in Society, distresses me greatly".

"I do not doubt it".

"So you see, Mr Darcy, something must be done. _You_ are a man of the world; what would you recommend I do? I place myself entirely at your direction".

There was silence for some minutes as Darcy turned the problem over in his mind.

"When do you think it likely that Bingley will offer for Miss Bennet?" he asked finally.

"He implied that it would be soon. Of course, he does not wish to offer for Miss Bennet while she is still under his roof, as it would be most improper. But all the same, you know how heedless Charles can be; no sooner has he thought of a scheme, then he embarks on it".

"In that case, I suggest that I take Bingley with me when I go to Town the week after next. I do not think Bingley will propose before then. I could use his assistance in several business matters, and can arrange things so as to draw out the business and remain in Town as long as may be".

"What an excellent notion!" cried Miss Bingley. "I declare, I could not have thought of any plan so elegant, yet so efficacious. I knew that I could repose my trust in your extensive knowledge and experience of the world".

Darcy said nothing in response to this extravagant compliment.

"Perhaps, when you are in London", continued Miss Bingley seemingly undeterred, "you could introduce Charles to some of the many accomplished ladies of your acquaintance. I am convinced that Charles would then soon forget Miss Bennet, who, while amiable and handsome in a countrified sort of way, is really nothing to a lady of the _ton_. Indeed - if I may be so bold - if Charles were to become more closely acquainted with your sister, whom I believe to be the perfect union of beauty, breeding and accomplishment-"

"You need not concern yourself on that score", interrupted Darcy coldly. "I shall endeavour to keep Bingley entertained while in Town, and see no harm in introducing him to Society more widely. More than that, however, I will not undertake".

Elizabeth was hard put not to exclaim out loud at Darcy's hypocrisy; she could hardly credit that he would disclaim responsibility for directing Bingley's romantic attachments, at the same time as he planned to separate Bingley from her sister.

"Of course", murmured Miss Bingley, apparently chastened by Darcy's rebuke. Elizabeth could hear the triumphant undercurrents, however, and despised Miss Bingley for it.

Sensing that the conversation was coming to an end, Elizabeth quietly turned and hastened out of the house. Walking briskly through the park, Elizabeth strove to put aside her anger in order to consider the salient facts. She saw all too clearly that if matters were not soon brought to a head between Jane and Mr Bingley, Jane's future happiness was gravely at risk. While Elizabeth considered Mr Bingley to be the most amiable of men, she knew that he was indecisive and easily swayed, and that Mr Darcy in particular had a strong hold over him, whether intentional or no.

Elizabeth therefore resolved that Jane must get Mr Bingley to offer for her very soon after she returned to Longbourn. The only thing left to decide was how to advise Jane without revealing the contents of Miss Bingley and Mr Darcy's conversation. As little as Elizabeth would have objected to exposing Mr Darcy's ill-nature, she did not consider it prudent to tell Jane of Miss Bingley's opposition if she were shortly to be her sister-in-law. As for how to bring Mr Bingley to the point sooner rather than later, Elizabeth realised with some trepidation that she would need to consult Mrs Bennet, for if anyone could engineer such an outcome it was surely that redoubtable matron.

However, all such thoughts flew out of Elizabeth's mind when she returned to the house to find the whole household in uproar. Upon questioning a nearby servant, Elizabeth learned that Mrs Hurst had that afternoon been taken very ill with what was thought to be coronavirus, apparently caught from a housemaid whose parents were sick. Out of a mixture of prudence and decorum, Jane and Elizabeth decided that they ought to leave Netherfield that very day. The sisters were conveyed to Longbourn in Mr Bingley's carriage, although its owner had protested Jane's leaving earlier than planned, out of concern for her health. The tender looks that Mr Bingley cast in Jane's direction as the carriage rolled away, quite determined Elizabeth that the matter must be settled as soon as possible in order to secure Jane's happiness.

* * * *

Events, however, turned against the Bennets. Mrs Hurst, who could not boast a strong constitution, soon became very ill indeed, and Miss Bingley fell sick with the same disease after having by all accounts nursed her sister with a surprising degree of devotion. Meryton was alive with gossip about the unfortunate inhabitants of Netherfield, and indeed it was Mrs Philips who brought the worst news to Longbourn - Mrs Hurst was dead of the coronavirus - Miss Bingley herself lay at death's door - Mr Bingley was entirely distraught - Mr Darcy had left for Town to transact urgent business on Mr Hurst's behalf, who was incapacitated (some said by grief, others said by even more liberal quantities of drink than usual). The tale brought by Mrs Philips the next day was, if possible, even more dreadful to Mrs Bennet's ears, for it was said that Mr Bingley had shut up house at Netherfield, and taken a still very ill Miss Bingley to Town to be placed under the care of the very best physicians.

Within a month of the party quitting Netherfield, the most terrible news of all reached Longbourn: Mr Bingley was giving up the lease on Netherfield and had no plans of returning to Hertfordshire, as the doctors in London had recommended that he urgently take Miss Bingley to a sea resort for the sake of her health. The reaction of the inhabitants of Longbourn to this intelligence may readily be imagined: Mrs Bennet took to her bed and would not stir out of it for a fortnight; Jane became pale and sad; Elizabeth and Kitty fretted over her; Mary offered moral reflections on the brevity of human life; Mrs Hill was very sorry, to be sure; and Lydia and Mr Bennet were largely indifferent, which, as the latter remarked, was likely the first and last time that they would have a rational feeling in common.


	4. Enter Mr Collins

Life, however, continued in Hertfordshire, and if Jane were somewhat quieter and more withdrawn than before; why, that was only to be expected after being treated so heartlessly by Mr Bingley, as Mrs Bennet never tired of telling her friends.

Meanwhile the spread of the coronavirus continued apace, and almost weekly, it seemed, more measures to prevent the spread of infection were put in place. Mr Bennet's tenants muttered angrily when they heard that the local inns were to be shuttered. To be sure, Mr Bullock at the White Lion told anyone who would listen that no government would make him shut up shop, and local folk were always welcome in for a pint, but even the White Lion was forced to close following an event that caused great excitement in the neighbourhood: the arrival of the ----shire militia regiment.

Upon hearing of the regiment's arrival, a great curiosity was aroused among the Bennet sisters, and they eagerly ventured into Meryton to learn more. When they were arrived at the High Street, a remarkable sight met their eyes. A phalanx of red-coated officers was milling about, and it seemed that every inhabitant of the town had come out to watch. Mr Phillips was talking to what seemed the most prominent personage, and upon seeing his nieces introduced them with a jovial air to a stout, self-important man of around five-and-forty who introduced himself as Colonel Forster.

"The ----shire regiment are here to assist in the implementation of the government's coronavirus social distancing strategy", explained Mr Phillips. 

"You are not here to punish us because of that horrid coronavirus?" cried Lydia. "To forbid us from shopping, and dancing, and all good things?"

"Certainly not". Colonel Forster favoured Lydia with a benign smile. "The government has decided that for now, at least, social activity may continue provided that the six-foot distance is kept at all times. The one exception to this is popular entertainments for the labouring classes, which have been curtailed for the time being in order to prevent the spread of the disease. More elegant entertainments are of course permitted to continue at a safe distance. So you see, His Majesty's Government is not hardhearted or unfeeling".

"Particularly not towards charming females such as yourselves", put in a handsome officer with a disarming smile.

"This is Captain Wickham", said Colonel Forster. "A newcomer to our regiment".

"Delighted to meet you all", said Wickham sketching a deep bow. "You must not fear, dear ladies. We are here to aid and protect you in every way from the terrible threat of the coronavirus".

"Ow's about protecting us?" called out a bystander. "Is it only ladies and gentlefolk you'll be looking after, now? What about us as repairs your goods and grows your food?"

"Who is this person?" boomed Colonel Forster.

"That is Joseph Higgs", put in Mr Phillips, "the butcher's apprentice".

Colonel Forster frowned awfully at Higgs. "His Majesty's concern for his subjects extends even to the lowliest persons such as yourself. You may count yourself lucky, boy!"

If this speech was intended to subdue Higgs, it failed miserably. "So why's it that the gentlefolk gets to enjoy their dancing and all, and we working folk aren't to have any entertainments?"

"It is the Government's view", replied Colonel Forster in a repressive tone, "that the coronavirus is far more easily spread among the lower orders, due to their inferior habits of sanitation as well as a more general ignorance of medical matters".

This pretty speech managed to anger more than a few of the nearby working men, and there must have been some violence, had not the presence of the soldiers prevented it. Higgs contented himself with throwing dark looks at the Colonel, and sloped off to his master's shop.

"And so we see why the militia are come into Hertfordshire", Elizabeth murmured to Jane. "The common soldiers are to stop the lower orders from gathering and enjoying themselves, while the officers are to dance and flirt with with the local ladies. A very equitable scheme, although I daresay Mr Darcy, were he still here, would have liked it better if the gentry were also forbidden from dancing. No one could then have questioned his rudeness."

* * * *

Another event then happened in the Bennet household, of perhaps greater moment than the militia's arrival. Mr Bennet announced one day that he had received a letter from Mr Collins, who had declared his intention of visiting the Bennet family in an attempt to build fences and mend bridges, which mixing of metaphors made Mr Bennet laugh heartily. 

"But we cannot have Mr Collins to stay!" cried Mrs Bennet. "Even if I were happy to receive the man who will throw me and my daughters out of my home - which I am assuredly not- it goes expressly against the law to receive overnight visitors."

"Such a visit would merely be against government advice and not against the law. There is no question of your being carted off to the county gaol, I assure you".

"Carted off to the county gaol!" cried Mrs Bennet. "What nonsense you speak! But I am sure I will never receive that odious, grasping parson under my own roof, as long as you still draw breath".

"And may that time be many years hence, if only for the sake of your nerves. Yet I think you will be more willing to overlook government advice and receive Mr Collins when you hear what he has to say about the girls. Let me find the relevant part of the letter -ah, here we are". Mr Bennet adjusted his spectacles and began to read.

> "Perhaps the most distressing aspect of this situation, particularly for a clergyman circumstanced as I am, is that I shall be the cause of injuring your most amiable daughters. Know, then, that I come quite prepared to admire your delightful progeny, and eager to see our families bound in ever closer ties of amity and accord- but let me say no more here; you shall see that I mean to make all the amends at my disposal, naturally with the sanction of my most gracious patroness, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, whose generosity and condescension-"

Here Mr Bennet broke off and looked up at his wife. "You see, it is as clear as day that Mr Collins means to make an offer for one of our girls. That is what he means by building fences and mending bridges. Ten to one but that Mary will be most to his liking, for the rest of his letter is full of just the sort of sermonising of which she is so fond".

The logic of this apparently struck Mrs Bennet very forcibly, as she had a new dress run up for Mary in Meryton and managed to cajole Mary into styling her hair in a more becoming way. Mrs Bennet even went so far as to order Mary to leave off her spectacles while Mr Collins was visiting, "for they are very unbecoming; but still you must take care not to squint, for no man wants a wife who squints. If you cannot see so well, you will simply have to bear it".

Mr Collins arrived true to his time some weeks later, and was greeted with great civility on the part of Mrs Bennet. Mr Collins was all smiles, and quite prepared to be charmed by everything he saw, whether it was the fine aspect of the house, the apple trees at the back, the Staffordshire china, the wall hangings, or indeed the mutton that was so beautifully cooked, he declared that it reminded him of similar dishes that had on occasion appeared at Lady Catherine de Bourgh's own table.

It soon became apparent that Mr Collins had a deep and abiding fear of the coronavirus. Upon learning that the younger Bennet sisters went into Meryton several times a week to visit the regiment, Mr Collins shook his head in deep disapproval.

"I cannot think it wise", he said, "to be gadding about so during this time of national crisis. One ought to be at home as much as possible. Lady Catherine has more than once stressed to me the importance of obeying the social distancing measures put into place by our wise government, and has indeed expressed her opinion that they do not go far enough".

"That is all very sensible", remarked Mr Bennet, who enjoyed quizzing Mr Collins on the subject of his patroness. "But how is it that Lady Catherine condoned you travelling all the way from Kent to stay with another household, when such an action goes expressly against government guidance? I am sure you would not wish to offend Lady Catherine by travelling against her wishes."

"No indeed!" cried Mr Collins, visibly aghast at the prospect. "Lady Catherine is of the view that family visits are the one form of social activity that ought to be allowed. Filial piety, she said to me, is a sacred duty enjoined upon us all. I hope that I have not been remiss in my filial duty to you, sir".

"Not at all", said Mr Bennet, "your family feeling must be very great, as it prompted you to travel here in great danger of catching the disease. We must thank you for such condescension".

"But it was not at all dangerous" replied the oblivious Mr Collins. "Lady Catherine was the very soul of generosity and lent me her carriage, and I am sure I could be in no danger of infection in that. Naturally, travelling post would have been impossible. However, Lady Catherine ensured that I had all the provisions I needed, that I might not need to stop along the way. She could not be more careful for my health than I myself".

"That shows an admirable concern for your wellbeing. But were you not concerned that you would catch the coronavirus from one of us once you reached Longbourn? You must know that the virus has reached Hertfordshire".

Mrs Bennet frowned at Mr Bennet at this indiscretion, but Mr Collins did not seem much concerned.

"Lady Catherine is of the opinion that the coronavirus cannot be spread between family members. She says that the humours of the body are so similar between mother and daughter, between father and son - and indeed, between cousins - that it is impossible for the disease to be spread from one to the other. So you see, that is why it is quite safe for me to visit, but why your lovely daughters ought not to visit strangers in the town".

"And you have no reason to question Lady Catherine's medical authority?"

"Oh, none at all! She retains the services of the best physicians in the country on account of Lady Anne's delicate health, and has a most intuitive grasp of the medical sciences. She often visits her tenants when they are ill, and her advice never fails to bear fruit if followed closely".

"Her tenants must be happy indeed!"

"I am sure we are very glad to have you visit us, sir", cried Mrs Bennet, who grew uneasy at the ironical glint in her husband's eye. "You must stay just as long as you like. I am sure my daughters in particular are most grateful for your favour, are you not, girls?"

As this only managed to elicit a polite murmur of acknowledgement from Elizabeth, Mary and Jane, and muffled snorts of laughter from Kitty and Lydia, Mrs Bennet thought it wisest to turn to other topics, and she engaged Mr Collins in a long conversation on the merits of Lady Catherine's table.


	5. A West Indian conspiracy

With Mr Collins safely ensconced at Longbourn, the girls were free to wander into Meryton by themselves. Only Mary chose to remain at home and keep Mr Collins company. Having always assumed that women were, in general, unable to properly appreciate religious subjects, Mr Collins was surprised at the extent of his young cousin's learning. He grew to enjoy their conversations, not least because Mary proved to be Mr Collins's most assiduous and devoted listener. He even thought her somewhat pretty, albeit nothing out of the common way. Doubtless the absence of spectacles helped Mary in this regard. If, however, she had hoped for anything more than cousinly affection, she would be disappointed. For all his moral strictures, Mr Collins was as alive to a pretty face as any man, and his visions of connubial bliss were just then entirely centered on the beautiful Jane. A sharp-eyed Mrs Bennet soon perceived the direction of Mr Collins' thoughts, and felt that it would be something to see Jane settled respectably, if not brilliantly; of Mr Bingley she had given up all hope.

Elizabeth had also noticed Mr Collins' attentions to Jane and was alarmed by them. All thoughts of Mr Collins were, however, put quite out of her mind when she was invited to a card party at Mrs Phillips' and found Mr Wickham in attendance. She had been greatly struck by his sprightly address and handsome person when they first met, and was gratified when he took the chair next to hers. They spoke lightly of local affairs, and Mr Wickham's ready wit and good humour soon endeared him further to Elizabeth. By degree, Mr Wickham brought up the topic of Netherfield Park.

"I hear it is a very fine house".

"It is very fine indeed".

"And I understand that it was recently let?"

"Yes; to a gentleman named Bingley. However, he gave up the lease after several months, and is unlikely to return".

"That is unfortunate! I think it a shame when a great house stands empty, for surely the first duty of its inhabitants is to entertain their neighbours - provided of course that they are amiable. Not all great men are".

"Oh, Mr Bingley was very amiable! No one could fault him for that".

"And yet, I gather from your tone that Mr Bingley fell something short of being a paragon?"

"He had the misfortune to carry around with him two supercilious sisters and one unpleasant friend, a Mr Darcy".

"Mr Darcy! Not - it cannot be - Mr Fitzwilliam Darcy of Pemberley?"

"Why, the very same!" cried Elizabeth. "Do you know of him?"

"Know of him? Indeed I do; much more than that, we have been acquainted since our very earliest days. My father was his father's steward, and we were raised and educated together. But you are very silent".

"I think I must follow the old adage that it is better to say nothing, if one cannot say anything pleasant. Mr Darcy and I were not on the best of terms".

"But he was generally liked in the neighbourhood?"

"Oh, no! I am afraid not. Everyone found him proud and disagreeable".

Wickham paused at this, apparently weighing his next words carefully.

"I wish I could say that Mr Darcy was undeserving of such censure, but I cannot. His conduct to me has not been that of a gentleman, and we are no longer on a friendly footing".

"I am sorry to hear it! To have lost your friendship must be a mark against his character. I only hope you have not suffered too greatly in consequence".

"Alas! My life has indeed taken a very different course than was intended; and I am not, I think, the better off for it. You must understand that I was always considered part of the family. However, after the late Mr Darcy's death, his son grew aloof and would not see me except when absolutely necessary on matters of business. I can only assume that he was offended by a man of my low station having gained the affection of his father. I had once cherished hopes that Mr Darcy might use his interest to help me to some respectable profession, as his father had intended, but he refused his assistance".

"But this is disgraceful!" cried Elizabeth. "For Mr Darcy to ignore his father's wishes in such a way offends every proper feeling".

"And yet for the sake of that gentleman - the kindest, most generous man who ever lived! - I believe I could bring myself to forgive Mr Darcy for his conduct to me. There is indeed one thing I cannot forgive him for; but I do not wish to be indiscreet, and shall say no more".

Elizabeth dared ask for no further details, but Mr Wickham seemed to visibly relent in the face of her evident curiosity.

"You must prepare yourself, Miss Bennet, for what I am about to say will be a terrible shock. I am afraid to say that Mr Darcy has been instrumental in the spreading of the coronavirus in England".

"That cannot be!"

"It is hard to believe, yes. But the truth, and my conscience, will not allow me to say otherwise. You have doubtless been told that the coronavirus comes from China?"

"Yes; I understand that is the opinion of the country's most eminent medical men".

"The most eminent medical men - or the most easily bought. I can in fact tell you in the strictest confidence that the coronavirus originated in the West Indies, from whence it has spread on ships bound for Europe. The story that the coronavirus came from China is a complete fabrication".

"But if that is so, why should the newspapers report it as true?"

"The newspapers are, alas, wholly in the government's pocket and only report what the government wishes the populace to think. And the government is in the pocket of the West India Company, being indebted to it to the tune of millions of pounds".

"Are you implying", cried Elizabeth, "that the government has deliberately spread false news among the populace because the West India Company has put pressure on it to do so? And that by doing so, it has effectually ensured the spread of the coronavirus by allowing ships to come in from the West Indies, while simultaneously forbidding the entry of ships from China and the East Indies?"

"I am afraid so".

"But how can you possibly know this? I do not mean to be impolite, but these are great matters of state, and you accuse the government of treason!"

"Well do I understand your doubts!" cried Mr Wickham. "They are natural and just. But until recently, I was engaged in a business in London related to the West India trade. It was but a poor position, yet all I could obtain thanks to the hardheartedness of one whose name shall remain unspoken. At any rate, in the course of my business I came into contact with many men of distinction whom I would not otherwise have known. I grew intimately acquainted with several political and scientific figures who were deeply involved in West Indian affairs. You have, perhaps, heard of Lord Talbot, the great parliamentary orator, and of Mr Augustus Rooke, the eminent physician?"

"I believe I have seen their names in the newspapers at times".

"It is from them, and several others whom I ought not to name (so close are they to the Government) that I learned of this terrible conspiracy. Like you, I am of a sceptical turn of mind, but they soon proved to me beyond all doubt that this disease originated in the West Indies. Disgusted with what I had learned, yet unable to make my knowledge public without severe consequences, I abandoned my post and joined the militia. And here I am, as you see me".

Elizabeth was stricken. She could hardly credit such a wicked conspiracy that went to the heart of government; and yet, Mr Wickham's looks, his accents, all proclaimed that he spoke the truth. She did not doubt Mr Wickham's claims that he had learned of the conspiracy from leading government and scientific figures. His manners, breeding and wit were such as could enable him to make friends in the very highest circles. Yet one thing was still unclear to Elizabeth.

"What has Mr Darcy to do with this?"

"You will understand when I tell you that Mr Darcy is one of the largest shareholders in the West India Company. I have it on the very best authority that he was at the head of a group of shareholders who lobbied the government to keep open the West Indian shipping routes and spread public disinformation as to the coronavirus coming from China. You may imagine what would have happened to Mr Darcy's fortune had the West India Company's shipping routes been closed in order to stop the spread of the coronavirus. I daresay you have heard that the East India Company has gone bankrupt due to the government banning trade from the Far East".

"But this is terrible!" cried Elizabeth. "That Mr Darcy should be willing to sacrifice many thousands of lives for the sake of his own fortune, is beyond belief. I should never have credited it, had anyone else told me. But you, who knew him so well, you must know the truth."

"It is a painful story indeed", acknowledged Wickham. "But I found that with _you_ , I could not dissemble".

"Mr Darcy ought to be publicly disgraced".

"Yes, he ought; and he will be, some day, but not by me. As long as the memory of his departed sire yet lives - whom I revered as a second father - I can never expose him".

Elizabeth greatly admired Mr Wickham's discretion and manly forbearance, but the thought of Mr Darcy's wickedness troubled her greatly, and eventually she decided that she must tell Jane of the terrible secret.


End file.
